UIOGD

1. quality over quantity but quantity's important too
2. i need to trust my inner voice - i've noticed lately that it's right all the time, i just don't listen to it.
3. screwing up your life isn't that bad if you stop screwing it up the moment you realize you're a loser.
4. you do need God.. all the time
5. give love, take love
6. art takes a long time to create if you want it to be good
7. hardwork is a fact of life
8. attend classes
9. attend classes
10. attend classes
11. sleeping is for rest, not avoiding problems
12. attend classes
13. college is not an excuse for anything
14. mistakes happen... move on

I hate liars...i just do.

i think lying's pointless and only kids do it. remember when we were in grade school and everybody lied?

alam mo ba kung ilan bahay namin? Sampu! Tatlo sa pilipinas, isa sa california, isa sa disneyland, isa sa....

alam mo ba princess ako ng Norway! May swimming pool nga kami eh...

alam mo ba may pet squirrel ako, parang ung kay princess sara...

the thing is, i think i'm turning into one and i'm starting to really hate myself. seriously.
i lied that time my english 10 prof asked me about my course and why i'm interested in it. arrgh. i cringe just thinking about it.
then there was my org interview.*goosebumps*what is wrong with me? It's as if i just tell people what they want to hear. i just sound off their opinions and tell the truth in the way they like to hear it. I feel so dirty.
i guess the reason i'm so affected is because i pride myself on my honesty. I know, what?! those who's gonna read this probably do not know me as someone who's fearless in telling the bare honest, nasty truth. yeah, i'm not frank and i'm not straight to the point. i've been told that i use way too much euphemisms. okay, now i'm lost. what was my point, again?
you see, i've made major changes. I've decided several months ago that honesty is it. i've put honesty way on top of my values list. i actually convinced my parents to allow me to stay overnight in Laguna by telling them that I am the most honest daughter they have. and i really am. it also has something to do with me being more or less incapable of keeping a secret, but hey, that's honesty.
i will not allow myself to turn into a liar. i will not, i will not, i will not.
i will not allow myself to turn into the kind of person who needs to lie because the truth about them isn't good enough. I will not, i will not, i will not!!!!!!!!!!!!

...lantern parade
arki won all the awards...i'd like to think i helped, but no, i didn't

...interview
i got to wear my grad heels...that was the highlight...it wasn't fun but it wasn't horrible...i didn't cry... what can i say, manhid ako...i spent half the time staring at the walls hoping words would come out of my mouth without the thoughts to guide them.

...model-making
long story short, we sucked...pero itaga mo sa bato, i will not always suck- gagaling din ako!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...final rites
it wasn't the right time of the month (wink, wink) so i wasn't in the game na game mood...i still loved every moment of it, though...i have no idea why...member na ko ng tfa sa wakas!!!!

...oblation run
woooooooooooooooooh!hehe...balikat lang nakita ko...we got stuck in the back coz we weren't brave enough to let people see how excited we really actually were.

...KISS!!!!!!
yeah right...

so, long story short, i'm enrolled.

My Stalker Dream

I dreamt I had a stalker. The weird part is that my stalker isn't the guy I have a crush on, but his friend. hd yata ako.

nasa as waiting shed ako kasama si ate at mommy tapos sumakay kaming jeep na papuntang philcoa (ibig sabihin pauwi na kami). napansin ko na sumakay din siya sa jeep. nagtaka ako kung bakit sumakay din siya, e may kotse naman siya. nung nasa philcoa na kami, sumakay naman kami sa jeep na biyaheng montalban. napansin ko ulit na sumakay din siya sa sinakyan namin. kadalasan kaming umuupo sa likod ng drayber, umupo siya sa tabi ng pinto. sa puntong yon, sigurado ko na na sinusundan niya ako. natuwa naman ako secretly. hindi ko sinabi sa mga kasama ko na may sumusunod sa akin.
bumaba na kami sa tapat ng aming bahay. bumaba rin siya pero naiwan siya sa labas ng aming bahay. makalipas ang mga sampung minuto, sinabi ko na sa ate ko na nasa labas si ... dahil sinundan niya ako pauwi. nagulat ako na sabi ng ate ko na siya na lang ang tatawag sa kanya para pumasok sa bahay namin.
matapos kong ipakilala si ... sa aking pamilya, napagdesisyunan na sa amin na lang siya matutulog dahil gabing-gabi na. dapat ay maliligo na siya pero itinabi lamang niya ang kanyang sapatos at biglang naglinis ng aming banyo. hinayaan ko lang siyang maglinis at naisip ko na oc nga talaga siya.
may tao sa pinto. nalaman kong pinsan pala niya ang mga ito. naisip ko na baka tumawag siya sa mga ito para magpasundo noong naiwan siya sa labas ng bahay. Nainis ako sa pinsan niya dahil parang nilalait niya ang bahay namin kaya noong tinawag ko si ... ay tinanong niya sa akin kung ano ang problema ko. sinabi ko sa kanya na nainis ako sa pinsan niya. sinabihan niya ako na huwag ko na lamang pansinin ang pinsan niya dahil materialistic talaga iyon. Na-touch naman ako dun.
*wakas*

Life is beating me up...throwing rotten vegetables at me, using my face for target practice, pummeling me with a ten kiloton club, driving over my body using a monster truck with spiked monster wheels again and again and again and again....And my innate lack of strength, courage, bravery or quite possibly common sense makes me ask for more.
Stupid: Is that all you've got, huh, life?! C'mon, why don't you try harder?
Life: (calls for 100 more monster trucks with extra monstrous spiked monster wheels)

Reasons why I am irony personified

1. The first time i get a major crush on a real person (meaning person i have actually seen in real life), the next day he gets a girlfriend.

2. I surprisingly get great grades, good enough to be a US ( a US! I wasn't even expecting to be a CS!), just one problem, I got an INC from my Philo1 prof. i never got around taking my midterm successfully. i already took the test twice (figuratively and literally, you'll see...maybe not, it doesn't matter...past blog) but my prof was too nice to fail me and i was too lazy to actually learn FDL. So: no US, no CS, no personal invites from the college president for a semi-formal dinner at her home.

3. I have accompanied two friends for their pre-advising but i have never even seen my own adviser. Now, i can't enroll. it turns out my adviser is on leave and there's an assigned replacement adviser. Thanks to my abnormally slow brain I only get that there is an assigned replacement adviser after he has already left the planet and will only be coming back after ten years. He spent three days helping my fellow unfortunate souls while i sat at home watching tv and stuffing my face. he also spent another whole morning also helping students (only this time he was already annoyed at the students for waiting until the last minute) while I was running around campus with very nice friends trying to find my vacationing adviser.
Now, I'm being called stupid or a liar or a stupid liar because "it is impossible not to know that there's a replacement adviser since it was posted on walls, doors, and boards. Yes, I saw those notices. No, I will not try to explain why I, after seeing these signs, still had no idea that those damn replacement advisers exist. I already tried explaining once and that ended in me bursting in tears.
What can I say I'm a fat, lazy, slow-brained crybaby. You better watch out world! I'm gonna pass through you imperceptibly while the fit, hardworking, intelligent, strong people conquer all the richness you have to offer.